RealityofMe

My truth at this moment.  Alone and scared  Maybe some people feel like this but most don't if they have someone by their side. Someone to die with if it came to that point.   Feel memories with and smile at the shit that didn't make since and things that did.   I came to a point in my life, I have to except the things I truly don't want to except.  Look in the mirror at myself and say " this is it" my life and now each step I take is unknown. The decisions I make can affect the rest of my life to just a few weeks.   As I want to cry. Tears never come down. I guess I'm stronger then I think. Maybe it's time to stop crying for things that serve no purpose in my life but things that do. So, tonight I will try and clear my mind. Let actually people in or just be alone.  Hmmmm ....life is a journey in itself but especially unknown what is headed in front of you. Even if you plan it. My journey My life

 Sometimes we can overthink life. Wonder about shit that doesn't matter.  I'm trying to let myself go today. Not over think things nor share my deepest thoughts and wonders withbmy coworkers. They might misunderstand me. More like, I don't want them in my business. I have learn over the years, i only have associates so keep it just like that.  I will share with you, I'm wonder about life today. What do I want from it? What steps am I going to make to get where I need to be without overthinking everything I do. Wish me luck

 The reality of my life is I'm a single mom doing it all as best as I can. If I didn't have my dad in the same state as I was or family that cares, especially my sibling, well I feel like I would be living in a hotel or some type of extra help I need sooner and wouldn't be a le to get it later. Possibly travel miles to get to work and the kids to school. A lot of more sacrificing on my behalf.   Those are the things I think about if I actually didn't have help. 4 kids and no child support. I know typical life of Americans now just because anything could have happen over these past 2 years. People left, separated, divorced and just pass away leaving family and fri5to grieve or just figure out life. I had to much pain past these couple of years to where I will share with you.    Being a mom is challenging because...well the only person to provide for your family is difficult because you want to survive but also you have extra Littles you have to do it with as well...

 I feel like life is so....well terrible with all the burdens I have to go through but their is light at the tunnel right?    I found myself applying for a job that makes the same amount I do at the job I am at now. Only difference is I will get experience in being a supervisor. After I will just leave to take on higher roles. You have to start somewhere.   Well that's at least I keep telling myself. Going to school hoping I finish to see what other trade I want to learn. Actually use it!!!!   Life is to short and so unpredictable!!!!   Until next time Stay bless

 I view life different then I have ever before. Each breath I take, I'm emotional. What I see, I try to take it all in. Each step I take, I try to make each one count.   I have been trying to fine myself for so long. Trying to fit in everyone else life and not making the right decisions  for myself. Lost in the sight of other people. Trying to fit in this world that I became nothing.    yup I said it. As I watch my mom slowly go. She shows me to live life as tomorrow will be never promise to me. She shows me to take those moves even if they seem scary. To cry when things don't go right. To keep trying and figure out which job fits you but you not fit the job. Take on those challenges of life that will push you to where you will be in the next month or so.    To even stop, listen to everything around you. Take in the fresh air that comes from the mountain. Look at the stars at night and don't be frighten of a few bugs or a wild animals.    Liv...

Life is more preciouses then most of us thinking. One this I have notice past these couple of months...weeks...even days is life is to short. I know when people say it is different when you are actually going through a process of death. Waiting all the way to the end. Waiting to just see if you take that last breath in front of me. Will I do CPR right when the time has come? Will they come in time? Will you pull through to only lay  back in bed waiting to die again? So many unsure questions, especially the last one that makes life unknown for me.     Sipping on my cherry hard lemonade that will ease the pain I'm feeling to Cheetos right next to me with a payday and a Twix candy bars.      Waiting for someone to die with cancer while on hospice is the most  exhausting moments of my life. I'm going and going on less fuel everyday trying to make sure I'm available for every part of my life to where I had to stop the online dating ...